Yikes!

No posting for so long! What's gotten into me?!?

Soccer, tennis, life....

AND MOVING TO A NEW HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!

More later.

Sports

Jake plays tennis five nights a week. Liam has soccer practice three nights a week, a game last weekend and a tournament this weekend. Simon starts soccer soon. All the boys in this house are antsy for golf season to begin.

Sports, sports, sports!

Sylvie-Aganoti... ...maybe she'll be into ballet. Or science. Or gardening. Or acting. Or reading books.

Or sports!

Let me guess...

...black beans.

After my second Dr. appointment for relentless ringworm, I take Sylvie-Aganoti to lunch at a Mexican restaurant. As I order, the burrito-guy says with a smirk on his face, "Let me guess... ...black beans."

Maybe because I am wearing a black shirt and vest.

Maybe because I look like someone who likes black beans.

Maybe because I am holding an Ethiopian baby.

Maybe this guy is a complete ass.

Maybe not.

Three months ago I would have thought the burrito-guy was quirky and nothing more. I find with Sylvie-Aganoti in my arms the world looks a bit different. People's comments sound different.

Surprised and trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, I say, "No thank you, pinto beans." Retrospectively, I could have asked, "Why would you guess black beans?". I wonder what he would have said?

If he was making a racially-charged comment, what was his purpose? Did he think it was funny? Did he intend to be nasty? This three-second incident has stuck with me for hours. I keep thinking about how this will feel for S.A. when she is old enough to realize the hang-ups some people have with ethnicity and non-traditional families.

I am hopeful that the burrito-guy did not mean anything by his comment. Though, sadly, my gut says otherwise. I wish I could turn back the clock and handle things differently.

Maybe I would stick a bean up his nose...

Keep on keeping on...

A picture of our sweetie pie eating lunch...

It has been too long since my last post. Sylvie-Aganoti is growing like a weed. She is close to double in weight from our first day together in Ethiopia. She is still a picky, picky eater. No thanks on the fruits and veggies! We've visited a pediatric dentist. Her teeth are in great shape and reaffirm her given age. SA's birthdate truly looks like June 10th 2007. She continues to have intestional issues and we may be looking at surgery. Her growth, combined with the severe malnutrition she experienced in her first year of life, has weakened her muscles. Details aside, an operation will ensure that everything is in place and working as it should. It is very scary to think of surgery without any knowledge of her past medical history. Another interesting component of adopting internationally.

This weekend we had the pleasure of meeting a family from Ethiopia. They are living in Missoula as the wife, Waganesh, completes her Master's Degree. They have a 13-month old son. It was such a treat to visit with them about Ethiopia and adoption. Waganesh used to be involved in international adoption; specifically, reuniting adoptive families with birth families. She has offered to help us find SA's birth-mother. What a blessing it is to get to know them.

So Many Firsts...

It has been two months that Sylvie-Aganoti has lived with our family. Below are some of her "firsts" that we've been lucky enough to share with her.

First Open Gym

First Children's Museum Trip

First Time to the Mall with Cousins (not wearing her game-face)

First Superbowl (this was the best part of the 3-D hype)

First Life-Sized Doll

(their relationship has progressed to hair-pulling and long drags down the hall)

First Wedding and Meeting Clark's Mother's Side of the Family

First Lady Griz Basketball Game, where she got to...

...sit by this kid, and...

listen to this kid play in the marching band (Liam is top row trumpet, second kid in).

Ready for Her First Hike up Blue Mountain

First Time Sitting Nice With Her Baby...

...almost.

First Wooden Toy Made for Her by Grandpa Doug (a REALLY great duck!).

First (hopefully last) Glimpse of Brother Jake Dressed as a Crazy-Guy!

First Dental Visit (her teeth are in wonderful shape).

Lastly, Her First Jello With Whipped Cream ( a Reff tradition).

Got it!!!

Enjoy the laugh. We do! We love, love, love this baby...

Where are you?

I've been back at work since Monday. We had huge concerns about Sylvie-Aganoti's attachment with us... Have we had enough time together? Does she know we are her parents yet? Will her care provider understand the needs of an adopted child? Will Sylvie feel abandoned? Will she attach to her provider more than us?

Worries aside, this situation is optimal. The woman providing her care only offers before and after-school and after-school care for a few kids. In-between these times, Sylvie is her one-and-only charge. Even better, her house is located across the street from the school where I work. It is literally less than a minute from my office to her front door. The location enables me to scoot over there for my lunch break, feed Sylvie and rock her to sleep. We feel so fortunate for this arrangement!

We have visited her care provider for the last few weeks to try and ready Sylvie for our work transition. She liked visiting when I stayed with her. However, when I left her for three hours alone and Clark picked her up, she refused to make eye-contact with him and hit at him a couple of times. Then she cried all night, absolutely all night long. Again, we were very, very concerned for this week.

So, Monday I dropped her off at 8:00 and was back by 11:30 for our lunch and nap routine. I walked in the house and Sylvie, seeing me, tosses her toy, and runs toward me laughing like mad. About three feet away she comes to a screeching halt, bellowing, "Where are you?". The look on her face was, "Where the heck have you been!??!" I scooped her up, hugged and kissed her and pointed at my school across the street. She seemed pacified. We had lunch, she napped and when I picked her up after work she was ok. Every day afterward has been just fine. Her provider is wonderful and has been open to reading articles on adoption and attachment, and is very sensitive to our need for alone-time during lunch.

We are incredibly relieved this is going ok. Not just ok, but better than we might have hoped for. Though, now she asks, "Daddy, where are you?" We have to arrange for Clark to pick her up soon.

A fungus among-us

So, I've had this irritating spot on my chin that got a little bigger, then turned into two spots, then spread to my lower leg. Burning, itching, driving me absolutely crazy... Our Dr. says S.A. shared a fungus with me.

A fun-guy has officially joined the family; he's all the way from Ethiopia. And, he's NOT so much fun!

One of the joys of international adoption.

Tent-building and dancing

We have been creating indoor-fun during this recent cold spell. The boys got a tent for X-mas and set it up in the dining area; though, it ended up being much too small for them. It was Sylvie-sized!

Liam and Simon, fearless tent-builders.

A little assistance was required.

Happy camper!

This girl loves to dance! So does her daddy...

Momma, at last!

I have been upgraded, from Poo-poo to Momma. Finally!!! While Poo-poo was cute, I felt the world come to a standstill when Sylvie-Aganoti looked at me with a smile and said "Momma" this weekend. So, if were wondering what that small blip in time was on Saturday morning, there you go!

Speaking of her language abilities, our Yahoo group's recent conversation has been how many words kiddos her age know and use. So, we started counting. We landed at a solid 35! Thirty-five words are absolutely incredible. S.A. has only been exposed to English for six weeks. She heard Oromo her first 10 months, Amharic her next 10 months, now English. She's on her third language in a year-and-a-half! What an amazing challenge.

Drum roll... They are, "Good girl (after using the potty), Hi, Bye-bye, More, Goodbye, All Done, All Gone, Apple, Milk, Juice, Yummy, Uh-oh, No, Remi (sometimes these last two are said together), Daddy, Momma, Cracker, Up, Eat, Baby, Down, Poo-poo, Sit, Peek-a-boo, Go Potty, Dog, Ball, Tea, Out, Woo-hoo, Yes, Hat, Pretty, Yea, Nice."

She has a soft, sweet little voice that is kind of husky. Unless she is mad, but that is a whole other post. We love hearing her talk!!!

Fresh out of the tub. Lois, I bet you recognize this shirt!

She loves to wear Jake's juggling rings on her head!

The snow in her hair was making her head sparkle!

Green is her best color.

Sharing custody...

...of a dog is a wild ride.

We pet-share with my parents. For a myriad of reasons, that I won't bore you with, Remi lives with our family part-time and my parents part-time. Remi is a Labradoodle who was supposed to be small. He is only 9-months-old and going on 70-plus pounds. He is not a small dog.

Not only is he large, he lives life large. He wags large (watch your head if you are 1.5 yrs old). He eats large (several bowls a day). He drinks large (gallons and gallons). He sleeps large (snoring, licking himself loudly, running in his sleep). He plays large (knocking chairs over on a daily basis). And he has large accidents (I will not traumatize you with details on this one).

Yesterday was a large day, even by Remi's standards. I knew by the tone in Clark's voice that something was wrong when he shouted, "Crystal, I need you to come look at Remi, quick." Remi had been outside for just a few minutes when he frantically needed back in. He was pawing at his face and hitting his head into the floor. He was breathing, but foaming at the mouth. I thought he'd cut his mouth or had something stuck in-between his teeth. I took a warm washcloth to his snout and tried to look inside of his mouth. He refused entry and I noticed every time he tried to close his mouth, his teeth gnashed together.

To the animal emergency room, pronto.

They take a quick look at him, sedate him and say they fear a dislocated jaw or fracture. We sit, stunned, as they usher him away. We imagine feeding this bounding, bundle of dog through a tube with his jaw wired shut.We imagine the phone call to my parents to tell them this horrible news. We imagine what it will feel like if we end up going home without Remi.

The ER veterinarian emerges less than 15-minutes later with the remainder of a branch held in her fingers. With relief, she informs us, "Remi wedged this nub up into his soft-palate. No stitches were necessary. Watch him closely for infection and do not leave him unattended for the next 24-hours. He is on narcotics and may not be himself for awhile."

While we decide that while we like the "Remi-on-narcotics" version of our dog, we appreciate his reckless-abandon toward life with new perspective. Remi is an adventure.

Why was I cleaning the floor at the mall today?

Miss Sylvie-Aganoti enjoyed her very first Dairy Queen ice cream baby-cone today. The employees at DQ ooh-ed and ahh-ed while she reveled in her first six bites. Ice cream running down her chin. Huge smiles. A few giggles. Such a sweet, sweet baby.

Then she makes a nasty face, tosses the whole cone over her shoulder and yells, "ALL DONE!"

That is why I was cleaning the floor at the mall today...

The Princess and the...

Sleeping has been a challenge lately. In our room we have two adults (who are prone to snoring), two dogs (one of whom bites her nails. really!) (the other sticks his head under our covers at night, presumably to make sure we are still there. cold nose in our privates!!), and one baby (who has messy pants throughout the night and makes scritchy-scratch sounds with her fingers on the side of the crib). Lest I forget the nocturnal visits we still receive from two of the three boys sleeping upstairs.

Would you want to sleep in this room? I didn't think so...

Falling asleep and staying asleep has always been a difficulty for me. As my sleeping hours are more of a scarcity, I've become fiercely protective of them. Weekends are supposed to be about catching up. Right?!? Wrong...

There is a point to all of this background information:

This weekend we decide to take the kids to the bookstore and dinner out as a treat. At the bookstore "one of our younger boys" wants an adult-fiction book on war and terrorism. No way. I offer three compromises. #1. We buy the book and I pre-read it. If the book is appropriate, you can read it too. #2. We look for a book in the young reader's section about war. #3. I help you find an alternative topic that's appropriate to your level. Is he happy with any of these options? Not in the least. We spend FOREVER looking, he and I. He dislikes all of my ideas. We enlist the help of the very nice bookstore employee. She actually finds three books on war. Is he appreciative? Nope. He dislikes all of her ideas. It is time to leave. Angry boy. Huge fit. Rude words said by him in the bookstore. This is not turning out to be a treat for any of us. On the way to the car this child turns to Clark (who was not involved in the bookstore experience whatsoever) and says, "I hate you!!!".

At this point, plans change. This child will not be going out to dinner. We drive him home and tell him to sit tight for two hours. We will be home after dinner. With amazing foresight, Clark places his PSP out of sight. No video-game enjoyment for this kid. He is supposed to sit at home with a ham sandwich regretting his stinky behavior and rude words. I know this part is a mother's fantasy, but still, I indulge.

That night as I toss and turn and can not get comfortable, I return to the situation. With this child in particular, a treat can go oh-so-wrong sometimes. Why does he sabotage the fun? Is there something we can do to premeditate his meltdown? Why do the natural consequences not seem to make an impact? Why am I so darn uncomfortable? Toss, toss, turn, turn. Worry, worry. Baby up and poopy. Dog biting her nails. Snoring husband. Scritchy-scratch, scritchy-scratch on the side of the crib. Cold dog nose in the privates. Toss, toss, turn, turn. Something about this bed is not working tonight. Reaching up to rearrange my pillows for the umpteenth time, my hand grasps something cold, slim, and covered in buttons. You've got it, the PSP!!! In my sleep-deprived state, I wake Clark to remind him where he hid the PSP. He's not surprised, as he put it there. If he put it there, why didn't he take it out? You know how those conversations go at 4:50 a.m....

The next morning, Clark and I reflect on the night's happenings, deciding I must be the modern day Princess and the PSP. Though, we remember the Princess as beautiful and unruffled. And she definately was not changing poopy diapers!!!

p.s. After time passed, the above-mentioned child apologized all on his own. That my friends, is the fairy-tale ending you were looking for...

Inaugural Moments

Beautiful, monumental, inspiring...

THE LAUGH

So, Sylvie-Aganoti sports this laugh from time-to-time that sounds like "The Bad Guy" on cartoons. I have tried to catch it on video but have proven unsuccessful.

Here is a clip of her playing Jake's guitar, which she loves. A small giggle at the end but not... THE LAUGH. I'll keep trying!

Basketball-Baby

Do I carry them, bounce them or just lay on them???

Tomorrow...

...somehow turned into a week. We have had company and a new puppy. More on that later. For now, pictures of our sweetie:

Huge fit if we take her food away before she is done + she asked to go potty= eating eggs while going potty. Don't tell me you've never done that!?!

Please put that camera away and take us for a ride in the car!

Don't look at me, I didn't eat that cookie on the counter...

Sylvie-Aganoti and cousin-Olivia!

Things are good...

Sylvie seems to be feeling much better. We are all well.

I am going to bed, but promise to post some cute pictures tomorrow. And, I'll tell you a little bit about S.A.'s new laugh. WOW, it's a doozie!

C.

!!!Bio-Hazard!!!

The last time we took Sylvie-Aganoti's poo in for a test we warned the nurse about it's odorific-ness (that will be on this week's vocab. test). Her words, "We've seen a diaper or two before," sniff, sniff, gag, gag. She proceeds to leave the room, returning with this:

Sad thing is, we'd already wrapped it up in an airtight Ziplock. She was smelling the thing through plastic. It was bad, bad, bad. For the postitive piece of this disgusting story....

We have an answer to S.A.'s diapers! Her second test showed Giardia. What a relief to treat it and know her little tummy will feel better. Her pediatrician was pleased she has gained 2 pounds, 6 ounces and grown 1/2 inch (in three weeks!). He said her gains surpass what he hopes for newborns. Since the orphanage, our girl has gained 6.6 pounds! Wow...

Today was awesome. I think she is a two-nap-a-day kind of kid. That is what we did today and it was marvelous!

Tomorrow we might visit her child-care provider for the first time. Stay tuned....

Hmmm...

Sylvie-Aganoti woke up with a cold today. This helps to explain yesterday, which has been our very hardest day so far. She was so unhappy. Tylenol might have helped. It is helping today.

Have I mentioned that she is getting four teeth at once? Yikes, definitely part of the picture.

We are now feeding her soy milk. We'll see if that does something with the diaper dilemma.

I went to the international adoptive parents meeting. No parents were meeting. I don't know if it was cancelled due to the holidays or if I confused the information. It was kind of silly, as I'd invited Linsey to go and it was just the two of us. We got a chance to visit though and it was so good to brainstorm with another adoptive mom. I need to read more about toddler adoption and attachment. If anyone has suggestions let me know!!!

Just a dream

Last night I had the strangest dream and my wheels have been turning.

Tomorrow morning a meeting in Missoula for international adoptive parents takes place. I am thinking about going. In the words of the mom who invited me, "It is a chance for us all to sit around with a cup of coffee, cry about how hard things can be sometimes and lend each other support." I am excited to go. I am nervous to go.

Back to the dream.

Clark and I are at dinner with friends and they kindly bring us a bottle of wine. Not having enough arms to carry that plus the paraphernalia S.A. requires, we put the wine in her diaper bag. We forget the diaper bag in the car overnight and temperatures dip way below freezing. The next morning I am running late for the adoptive parents meeting and feeling hectic. On our way to the meeting S.A. poops, blowing out her outfit. We get to the coffee-shop and, hoisting S.A. out of the car, I whack the diaper bag on the car door quite hard. I enter the meeting to find a large group of composed, well-dressed moms who did not bring their children with them, sipping lattes. I am standing with a poop-saturated kiddo, holding a diaper bag that is slowly leaking wine out the side. I look down and see the lace of my boot trailing behind me on the floor and I think, "I can't believe my boots are untied."


Dream over.

I can't believe my boots are untied...

Waking up, I realize this dream is about my feelings of incompetence as Sylvie's mom. Her pooping is out of control; I've never seen anything like it. She burns through outfit after outfit all day long. We have changed diaper sizes and brands. We changed from cow's milk to goat's milk, which seems to have made it worse. Today we are trying soy milk and are re-testing for Salmonella and Giardia. It seems I've forgotten how to baby-proof. I've had three kids but somehow feel like this is my first time. Sometimes Sylvie cries and I can't help. She's outraged if I hold her, outraged if I put her down. The look on her face says, "You are doing this the wrong way!" Getting her to eat is a Herculean effort.

About these certain things I feel incompetent. I know coming into her life after she's had 18-months of we-don't-know-what is difficult. She has history. She has ways of being soothed that we are in the process of learning. Foods she's used to we can't offer. Everything here is different than in Ethiopia. Parenting a child from birth can be a shot in the dark. Parenting a child who has a year-and-a-half under her belt is much more complicated.

I am trying to cut myself slack.

I love this baby. I do not want anything about her to be different. That does not change how hard some days are.

It was just a dream. However, sometimes my boots are untied.

Take a deep breath, lace them back up, things are ok.

Goodbye 2008

2008 was a huge year for our family; nostalgically we say goodbye.

In 2008 Jacob entered high school, thus beginning a new phase of his life. He is evolving into a remarkable young man with interests in music, the arts, animals and medicine. We are very proud of him. Liam became a middle school student, got braces off and glasses on. He earned a position in competitive club soccer; he will love the challenges and experiences it brings. It is thrilling to be a part of this enthusiastic, dynamic kiddo's life. Simon grew physically and spiritually over the past year. He is such a serious, determined child. We often wish we could have a peek into his future, as we know he will find an interesting niche in life.

Clark wrapped up the tail-end of his accounting degree and, though we had decided to wait until our adoption finalized to actively job hunt, an accounting opportunity arose that Clark gladly accepted. His new employer, willing to hold his position until our return from Ethiopia, is a family-friendly, community-oriented organization that Clark is thrilled to work for.

Our biggest feat of the year was bringing Sylvie-Aganoti Teresa Tower home. Words can not describe the importance of her joining our family. We waited for so long. Bringing her home feels like a happy ending.

Looking back to this time last year, we were wrapping up our home-study for Vietnam. We spent much time reading books on the country, immersing ourselves in culture, history and food. How interesting the turns we take in life, as several months later we were adopting from Ethiopia. Our path in adoption is a bit frightening, as had we not been on the exact time-line we were, we would not know our daughter. We can not imagine our lives without her.

In summing up this past year, we are so grateful for our health, the glue that holds this family together, our jobs and home, the supportive people we have in our lives, and the beauty and possibility surrounding us. We feel very fortunate. Goodbye 2008 and thank you.

Picky eater?

Sylvie has an extremely finicky palate. It is easiest to list the things she will eat: oatmeal, Cream of Wheat, bread with peanut butter, sometimes rice, scrambled eggs, select crackers, & sometimes potatoes. That's it.

Until.....

Today we went to Linsey's to play and then the boys had an ice-skating party to attend. After all of that I realized we were over-due for lunch (and cranky!). We swung through McDonalds (I know--gross and unhealthy--but fast). Guess who ate a cheeseburger? Miss Picky-Eater likes McDonalds cheeseburgers. Never would have thought to try that. She will be disappointed to find cheeseburgers are not a staple food at this house!

Some eating pictures...

Are you kidding? I ate these crackers yesterday!

Mmmmm, peanut butter toast!

Clark makes this face every time he gives her a bite. Think that's why she's not eating? Mean, that was mean (and a little funny)....

All done! This high chair was my grandmother's. It fed my mom and her siblings, as well as a cousin and all of our boys. I love that Sylvie-Aganoti uses it!

Things are coming together!

Childcare has been an unanswered problem for us. My parents offered to watch Sylvie, but will be in Texas until March'ish. I go back to work the first week of February. The original plan was for Clark to take five weeks of paternity leave and patch together the rest of March. Then he got a new job (which we love) and lost his paternity leave (which we do not love). We ABSOLUTELY DO NOT want to have S.A. in a daycare-setting. Too soon and too much like an orphanage. Have I mentioned that Sylvie has been in 6 different living environments in her little life (more than one orphanage)?

We have spend a lot of time brainstorming what to do... a nanny (so expensive), patch something together with friends until the end of March (too inconsistent), a small-scale private learning center (no openings), Montessori (she is four months too young), quit my job (out of the question financially). I lose sleep about our childcare problem.

A co-worker put a bug in my ear a couple of weeks ago about a woman across the street from our school who does after-school care for older kiddos. I had no idea if she would be interested in a little one. We visited right before leaving for Ethiopia and she said she would have to check into licensure. This woman is so nice. She is someone that I know Sylvie would be comfortable with. My fingers have been crossed...

Well, I called her back today and she will take S.A.!!!! We go next week to talk nuts-&-bolts and for Sylvie to meet her. This is the IDEAL situation. I can bring her there right before 8:00 am and come back for my lunch-break to feed her lunch and put her down for a nap. I am off by 4:00 and S.A. will be in my arms within minutes of walking out the front door of school. Attachment should be less of a worry with this schedule, as I am still there during the day. And, we will not have to pay for summer-care to hold our spot.

Thank you, thank you, thank you--it could not be a better arrangement than this!

Da-deeee and who?!?

We have some new words floating around at this house. Miss Sylvie-Aganoti knows who her daddy is and shouts it out full-volume, "Da-deeeeee!". We LOVE it!!!

It seems there is another name she is using. It is for me. Are you ready for this? It's not Mama. Prepare yourself. It's "Poo-Poo". Yes, sadly, that is what she seems to be calling me. "Poo-Poo". Is it because I can handle her nasty diapers with a stomach of steel? Is it because I set her on the potty and cheer for poo? Or, is because it makes us all giggle?

Dear friends, never would I have thought I would be so proud to be lovingly called "Poo-Poo".

With that said, it is ONLY for S.A.'s use. Do you hear that? No phone calls asking for "Poo-Poo". No emails or letters addressed to "Poo-Poo". No gift-tags, no jokes directed at, no conversations started with "Poo-Poo".

All my love,
Poo-Poo

Favorites from Ethiopia

Rub-a-dub-dub, one Aganoti in the tub!

Daddy's girl.

We held this position for most of our week during the day, during the night, awake, asleep, happy, cranky. You get the picture. She is so, so nice to snuggle with...

Again, snuggle time.

Daddy wants this girl to be a golfer. She loved this golf ball and played with it the whole time we were there. Sometimes she would start her nap holding it and would still be hanging on tight when she woke up.

This is her Embassy outfit. She looked so pretty. Yes, the golf ball went to the embassy.

Is this getting redundant? Really, we did this all week long. She is such a snuggler!

We tried to go swimming but were told it was not "International Hour". I am not sure what that meant. They said it was not time for children the next time we went. We never did swim, but doesn't she look great in her little suit?

This is one of the beautiful Ethiopian scarves Clark bought while we were there. Clark got something for Aganoti's half-birthday (also our Embassy date) for the next 20 years! We will celebrate half-birthdays with traditional ET food and an Ethiopian gift.

This is the kind of meal we ate every night. The food at Bole Rock was wonderful. I have been craving the spaghetti ever since we've been home! Aganoti is eating rice with roasted chicken and diced tomatoes--she loved it.

Lastly, this blankie was her favorite. Thanks Grandma Jeanne. She feels the soft fleece with her hand and runs her fingers down the satin binding. It is her bedtime blankie. In this picture we are trying a hat on her, as it was -40 in Missoula with windchill when we got home. Yikes!!!