I Love Her

Disgusting.

There has been some coughing in our house. And achy muscles and joints. And headaches. And sore throats. And stuffy noses. And fevers.

And some throwing up.

Today Simon emerges from the bathroom looking devestated. "I just threw up. I threw up in the sink because I felt so bad I couldn't make it to the toilet. Can I have a carrot? I'm hungry."

"No, Simon. No, you may not have a carrot."

Disgusting.

Oink! Oink!

Two down...

...with the swine flu.

Liam and Simon. Keeping a keen eye on Sylvie-Aganoti!

Why were the high school kids screaming?

A few weeks ago we had a day filled with running errands.

Blah!

A trip to the Dr.'s office for Sylvie-Aganoti's fungus. A chunk of time dedicated to the pharmacy. An oil change. Additional school supplies for the boys. Some much-needed household items. Groceries. You know the drill...

As we zip around town, S-A falls asleep in the car. While sleeping, she has an accident. No big deal; she is wearing a dress over her jeans. I whip the jeans and panties off and we are good to go. I am a little worried about pee-pants sitting in the warm car but, with four kids, our car has seen worse.

At the end of our list is a swing by Jake's high school to take his class photo and get his student ID. While there,
S-A is being her silly, crowd-crazy self. LOVING the attention from hundreds of Jake's peers. LOVING the admiration from the photography team.

Jake, by the way, does not appreciate the ruckus she is causing...

The head photographer comes over to say how beautiful she is. He offers to take her picture, promising a pint-sized activity card. I explain that she hates to get her picture taken. How it takes tricks and dozens of tries to get a good one. He laughs me off and boasts about all the pictures he's taken of hesitant children.

Good luck buddy.

Mr. Photography scoots us to the front of the line. You can imagine high school students' response to being cut by a TWO-YEAR-OLD and her embarrassed brother.

He takes his time, arranging a kiddie stand so Sylvie-Aganoti is the appropriate height to his camera. Again, picture those not-so-patient teens waiting their turn. Scathing stares. Eye rolls. Sighs. Huffs. Arms crossed. Whispers.

And Jake, thinking this can not possibly be over soon enough.

Mr. Photography asks me to position S-A on the stand, directly on his red X.

Right! This kid hates getting her picture taken. She is not going to stand on his red X with a camera the size of a small car pointed at her!!!

Amazingly, she stands on the X.

And SMILES!!! Maybe Mr. Photography knows what he's talking about?

Then...

...she grabs the hem of her dress and lifts it up, way up, over her head. Baring her oh-so-naked behind to all of those angry high school students.

A chorus of boys shout, "Oh my God!" A symphony of girls shrilly squeal and laugh. The room reverberates with sounds of shock. Mr. Photography's jaw hits the floor.

And then there is Jake. Poor, poor Jake. Who utters, "Sometimes having a sister is absolutely the pits."

That, my friends, is why the high school kids were screaming...

It is confirmed. We are unusual.

I got a survey phone call yesterday. She was asking about our television-viewing preferences. I explained that we do not watch television.

Long pause...

She, "At all?"

Me, "Nope."

She, "What do you do for entertainment?"

Me, "We read books, spend time outside, work puzzles, play boardgames..."

Longer pause...

She, "Well, if you were to turn the television on, what would you watch?"

Me, "Our television does not receive channels. We do not watch it."

Longest pause yet...

She, "Can I send you a form to fill out? It is very unusual to find a family that does not watch television and we would like your feedback."

Turns out we are a rare find!